How to punch failure in the face
Yup, the road to success includes failure. We have been talking about the 100% philosophy. So we talked about what it is. We talked about going all-in, going full out, and doing the hard things. First, doing things that make you uncomfortable. So we went over all of those things, but today, I want to talk about what happens when you don’t go a hundred percent, right? How to hold yourself accountable when you’re not doing these things. Did I go 100% all-in? I told my students, no, I probably went about 80%.
Other people looking at me would have thought that I was a hundred percent. We are working to our potential and not our quota and because we know when we’re showing up or we’re not showing up, I could tell them that I did not work to my full 100% in every area. It’s a high standard, it’s a challenging standard, but if we’re going to do it, then we need to hold ourselves accountable for doing it.
So for me, with not doing a hundred percent, there were phone calls that I didn’t make. There were some people that I didn’t reach out to. There are some things that I’m not doing in different roles. The fact that we’re doing these calls, that I need to go all in, no holds barred standard, the top of a building and tell the world, because if that’s what I’m committed to, then that’s what I need to do.
We went around the room with our leadership students and asked why we did not go 100% – what excuses did we give ourselves? There is always a reason we all have reasons. I had reasons. But at the end of the day, the bottom line reason, if you put them all together as I let other people’s priorities take over mine. And I did not do some things that made me uncomfortable, right? Because once I start getting more and more people on these calls, then I am accountable and responsible for delivering this, delivering this content, not in any different way, but for helping more and more people. And that can be a little scary because I take that very seriously. So those are my reasons in a nutshell. And as we went around the room to the other leadership students, the reasons that they didn’t go 100% varied. One that we all had in common was we were not willing to do the things that are hard.
Look, it’s completely natural. It’s completely a human being thing to us to not want to do the things that are hard, but to get the results that we’re talking about, getting into, do the things in the world we’re talking about doing, we’ve got to do those things and we’ve got to do them first. One of the reasons why I put this call at nine o’clock in the morning, because, um, Ms. Lee, Jack, she’s been, uh, she’s the parent of, one of my students has known that I’ve talked about doing this for a long time and talked and talked and talked. And so it’s, uh, it was put up or shut up time for me. Okay. So that was one of the reasons why things didn’t get done. And the other reason was commitment. They just weren’t committed to the thing that they said that they would do, right?
And for one student, it wasn’t even anything in the martial arts world. It was something in her dance class. Lydia was dialing it in dance- she could perform at a level others thought was excellent, but she knew she could do better. She was just showing up because she was already good at dance. But like we talked about last week, good is not good enough. If you want to be exceptional if you want to be excellent, outstanding, whatever adjective you want to use to describe that top level for you. If you want to be that you can’t dial it in, you can’t dial it in anywhere. Right. You’ve got to commit and let go of some things. And that’s what we found out during our leadership class, some people got thrown under the bus, but it brings to our attention, the ways that we’re being, where we’re not being true to who we say that we want to be.
Because if we say that we want to be exceptional and we say that we want to be exceptional and then we choose to not give a hundred percent. We choose to stream new Netflix videos instead of reading and becoming better at our job or, practicing or, getting up and doing physical things, whatever it is, right? Whatever your goal is. We have choices that we make every day, either getting us towards our goal or keeping us from our goal. Right? And the most insidious thing is just staying on that line of average. That’s the insidious thing because we’re good. Things are good. Things are going okay. You know everything is all right, but that just keeps us right here at mediocrity right here at average. And that is not what we committed to being. Maybe you’re not here to be average.
Maybe you’re down here at good–good is average. Your next step is to get to great-then excellent, and finally at exceptional where all the rewards are. All of the same principles still apply.
Every level that you want to get to these things rules apply. You’re going to have to give something up. You’re going to have to make the commitment. You’re going to have to do things that make you uncomfortable. You may have to go get some new skills. You may have to go get into some new groups. You may have to pick yourself up because failing is something that you do at first. All of that is completely normal. The biggest, most important thing is to not quit, to not settle for 80% to not settle. I had a student tell me he operated at 60%, and this is a student who wants to be a black belt with me. That’s not going to get him to qualify for black belt. If you’re only given 60% on the things that you know that you need to work on how can I expect you to show up when it is a completely new situation and you feel out of your depth and have nothing but your confidence to see you through?
It’s not good enough.
It’s just not good enough. It’s not going to, for me, it’s not going to, for him, it’s not good enough for us to get to our goals. Okay. So I really wanted to kind of hammer that in hammer that in –Good is not good enough.
Grit is that ‘extra something’ that separates the most successful people from the rest. It’s the passion, perseverance, and stamina that we must channel in order to stick with our dreams until they become a reality.Travis Bradberry
- We know when we are not operating at 100%
- We must acknowledge and hold ourselves accountable for the reasons that we give ourselves for not doing what we say
- We must give up something to get to the next level
Just because someone else tells us that we are working too hard or need to take a break, don’t accept their perception of what you are capable of doing. You know what you’re doing, or you’re not doing hold yourself accountable for that.
Ask yourself the following questions:
- Why did you allow yourself to stop taking action?
- What stopped you from, or what reasons did you use to give yourself permission to stop taking action?
- How will you stop this from happening tomorrow? Next week?
- What can you do today to get into action?
Depending on the size of your goal and your time frame, you will need to evaluate how you’re spending your time or not spending your time. Once you determine what can go, then you will need to have a plan to implement the necessary changes to put you on your path to your goals. Questions that you can ask yourself to get on track are:
- Do I have the skills I need now to accomplish this goal?
- What do I need to learn today?
- Who do I know that is doing this now or would be willing to help me?
- What am I doing now that is NOT helping me get to my goals?
Answers to these questions will help you begin to see what you will need to implement and get you started. Be prepared for those that love you the most to not understand what you are doing. They will be the people that try and pull you away the most because they’re not used to this version of you.
And so just know that that might happen. And it doesn’t mean that they don’t love you. And it doesn’t mean that they don’t support you. It just means that they’re used to you operating in this way. We have to help our families understand why we’re making these choices. And so you’re going to tell them why you’re making the choice of what you’re trying to achieve for you or your family, and contrast it with what will happen if you don’t. So just another little tool for that.
We’re halfway through the month. Take measure of where you are towards your goals and measure where you’re allowing things, people, distractions, old habits, beliefs, whatever they are to stop you. Pick one thing that you’re not going to let stop you this week. And then let’s see what happens.
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So let’s go do this. Let’s go take the success habit. Let’s implement it. Let’s fail. Let’s get up again and chart some more. I’ll see you then.