A Simple Evening That Sparked a Big Realization
I spent a quiet evening at home with my husband, just enjoying time together. It was peaceful—until, of course, things at work broke (as they always seem to do whenever we have a date night). Still, it was nice to just be.
The next day, I had the privilege of speaking at a special event for teenagers at Blissful Alchemists. The space was beautifully decorated, and the girls arrived dressed up while their moms, grandmas, and aunties enjoyed relaxing spa treatments. Meanwhile, the teens explored topics like makeup, skincare, creativity, and confidence.
Guess which topic I covered?
If you said confidence, you got it! As a confidence coach and martial artist, I’m often associated with board-breaking and discipline. But at this workshop, we went much deeper—because true confidence isn’t just about outward strength. It’s about knowing who you are and believing in yourself.
And that’s exactly what these teenagers shared with me.
The Surprising Truth About What Teens Want
During our discussion, we talked about school—favorite classes, toughest subjects, and of course, teachers. That’s when one girl made an interesting comment.
She said she liked certain teachers because they don’t just tell us what to do.
Immediately, the other girls agreed.
That simple statement made me pause. As parents, teachers, and mentors, we spend so much time telling teens what to do—what to wear, how to study, who to be. But no one likes to be constantly ordered around. So why do we treat our kids that way?
Here’s the truth: Teens want to learn, take responsibility, and understand the bigger picture. They don’t want to blindly follow rules; they want to know why those rules exist.
So, how do we support them?
3 Ways to Strengthen Your Relationship with Your Teen
If you want to connect with your teen on a deeper level (and maybe even earn the “cool” parent title), here are three powerful strategies:
1. Let Them Fail
Failure is one of life’s best teachers. Yet, many parents rush in to “save” their kids from making mistakes. While the intention is good, it can actually do more harm than good.
When teens don’t experience failure, they miss out on crucial lessons in resilience, problem-solving, and confidence-building. Instead of preventing failure, help them navigate it. Encourage them to learn from mistakes and develop the skills to overcome obstacles.
2. Give Them Responsibility
Teens want to feel capable and trusted. That means allowing them to own their tasks and face the consequences—whether positive or negative.
- If they forget to bring their homework? Let them handle the teacher’s response.
- If they commit to a job or club? Let them manage their time.
By giving them responsibility, you’re teaching them accountability, independence, and leadership—skills they’ll carry into adulthood.
3. Provide Context
Many teenagers feel like they have little control over their lives. They’re often told what to do without understanding why it matters. That’s frustrating for anyone.
Instead of just giving instructions, take the time to explain the reasoning behind rules and decisions. This doesn’t mean they’ll always agree, but it fosters mutual respect and helps them see the bigger picture.
For example:
❌ Instead of saying, “You have to do your homework.”
✅ Try, “Studying now helps you build knowledge and habits that will make things easier later.”
When teens feel heard and respected, they’re more likely to listen and engage in meaningful conversations.
Want More Practical Parenting Strategies?
At the event, some of the moms told me they were excited to try these strategies—but also a little nervous about where to start.
Do you feel the same way?
If so, I’ve got something special for you!
Join Me for a Free Virtual Parenting Workshop!
📅 Register Here
I’ll be hosting a virtual encore session where we’ll dive deeper into these principles, answer your questions, and discuss real-life ways to build a stronger, more respectful relationship with your teen.
It’s all about making small, intentional changes that can lead to big transformations.
👉 RSVP Here for the Virtual Event
I can’t wait to see you there!
Final Thoughts
Building a stronger relationship with your teen doesn’t mean being their best friend or giving in to every request. It means showing them respect, giving them responsibility, and helping them understand why things matter.
When you do this, you’ll not only gain their trust—you’ll help them grow into confident, capable adults.
So, are you ready to take the first step? Let’s do this together!