The Challenge of Teaching Responsibility
Being a parent can be one of the most rewarding things you can do. And parenting can be one of the me most challenging things you do. One common concern I hear from parents during my Family Strategy Calls is their frustration with children not taking responsibility. We all want to raise responsible kids, but are we giving them the right tools to know how to be responsible? More importantly, are we leading by example?
The modern world—shaped by technology, social media, and the aftermath of events like COVID—has left many parents uncertain about how to prepare their children for adulthood. I often hear the statement, “Kids just aren’t like they used to be.” And my response? Whose job is it to raise them?
Responsibility Starts With Us
As parents, teachers, and mentors, we play a pivotal role in shaping children’s behavior. Too often, we hesitate to hold kids accountable—whether out of fear, guilt, or simply feeling overwhelmed. But avoiding responsibility doesn’t equip kids for real-world challenges.
Having been disowned as a child, I learned firsthand that the adults who stepped up—coaches, teachers, and mentors—shaped my path. That’s why it is part of my mission to teach kids how to be responsible.
The Hard Truth About Responsibility
Many parents express frustration that their children don’t take responsibility for their actions. But here’s the truth: Kids learn more from what we do than what we say.
If we want children to be responsible, we need to model that behavior ourselves. A simple way to start is by apologizing when we’re wrong. This small action teaches kids that:
✅ Mistakes are normal.
✅ Accountability matters.
✅ Respect is a two-way street.
Encouraging Responsibility in Children
One of the most effective ways to foster responsibility is by giving kids a specific task they own entirely. Start with something they are already good at:
👉 “You always do a great job organizing your things! Can you help me by keeping [specific area] organized? This is now your job, and I’m counting on you.”
Then, clearly define what success looks like. And here’s the key—don’t fix it for them if they mess up. Instead, remind them it’s their job, ask them why it wasn’t done, and help them problem-solve.
Why This Approach Works
Kids want to contribute and they want to be involved. When they successfully manage responsibilities, they build confidence and begin seeking more ways to be accountable. While it may require more patience at first, the long-term benefits are immense.
By teaching responsibility today, you help shape confident, resilient, and responsible adults.
Final Thought: Are You Leading by Example?
The next time you find yourself frustrated with your child’s lack of responsibility, ask yourself: Am I modeling the behavior I expect from them?
Free eBook: Raising Happy, Confident Kids
Want to dive deeper into parenting strategies that work? Download my free eBook, Raising Happy, Confident Kids—and Be the Mom You Want to Be. Get practical tips to nurture responsibility, confidence, and resilience in your child. Download here.
P.S. If you’re struggling to help your child take responsibility, communicate better, or build confidence, let’s talk. My Family Strategy Call is a chance to assess what’s working, what’s not, and how to set your child up for success. Book your call here: Family Strategy Call Link